Bismillah

I believe in God, i really do. Maybe not God as in Jesus, or Allah or the million Hindu God and Goddesses. But a higher power that is guiding us and that also rests within us. Which is why when in our most desperate moments, we kneel down and pray to God and ask for a sign or ask for courage, we tend to find it, in ourselves and in things around us - which are also all a part of the magnificence of this power, of the Universe. That universe which is itself a manifested version of the unknowable and indescribable God.  I share this Universe, or God, and his/her religion with all the beings - human and others.

Some days, when i find it difficult to find God within me, and I feel far away from love and hope and faith, I somehow find it in music. One such day as I stopped everything I was doing and just sat, feeling all sorts of things in my head and heart, so overwhelmed that I could break into tears if someone asked me to speak or spoke to me, I shut my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. I wanted to pray, but couldn't manage that for some reason, and so I opened my eyes and took my phone and opened up Youtube and one of the suggestions on my screen was - "Wohi Khuda Hain" by Atif Aslam on Coke Studio Pakistan. Two things happened, I saw Atif Aslam and was like "oh this might be too screechy" and then I saw the title of the song and i was drawn to it. So with a little bit of apprehension I played the video. What I was hoping for, was something on the lines of Tajdar-e-Haram, also by Atif and also on Coke Studio.

What i received was almost like a sign from God, telling me, I am here my daughter, with you, always. That is all i needed and i teared up. I let it play until the end without moving from where I was, and was so moved. I did what you most naturally do - replayed it. Atif, being his very non-unusual self, was not screechy, at all and was amazingly soothing and soul full. The song, starts with the title itself " कोई तोह है जोह, निज़ाम-ऐ-हस्ती चला रहा है, वही खुदा है " - there must be someone, who must be directing the order of life - that Being is God.  Most Coke Studio videos have captions that perfectly describe the song - i urge you to give it a listen while also reading the translation in case you're not familiar with Urdu or Hindi.

My favourite part, actually i have two favourite parts,

तलाश उसको न कर बूतों में
वह हैं बदलती हुई रूतों में
जो दिन को रात और
रात को दिन बना रहा है,
वही खुदा है।

Don't search for Him in idols, 
He is all the changing seasons, 
The One who is changing day into night and 
Night into day, 
That Being is God. 

The reason I fell so deeply in love with this song, is because it  stirs the same emotions in me that principles of Sufism do - the feeling of oneness with every being in the Universe, and the belief in the presence of God, an all merciful, all loving and omnipresent Being that guides us, whether we feel that guidance or not - it exists. The book that has spoken deeply to my heart in the recent past is Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak and i quote some lines from it here, which I believe resonate with what i felt when I heard Atif start singing Wohi Khuda Hai: 

“The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone’s back – not even a seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish but are perpetually stored in infinite space, and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hurt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile.”

The second part of the song that i love, the part that I want to learn so I can chant it like I chant om mani padme hum is :

Allaahumma Salli 'Ala Muhammadin
Wa 'Ala Aalihi Wa Sahbihi Wa Sallim

O God, shower blessings on Muhammad
And on his family and his companions, and grant them peace.

There is something about that verse that is divine or maybe it is just the way Atif sings it, with an emotion that has equal amounts of prayer and love - if I could put the feeling of Sufism in my heart this would be one of the pieces I would ascribe it to.

This song now joins, a list of others that I very naturally gravitate towards when I'm seeking blessings and help from the Universe. Arziyan from Delhi 6, Kun Faya Kun from Rockstar, Khwaja Mere Khwaja from Jodhaa Akbar, Piya Haji Ali from Fiza, Zariya on Coke Studio India ~ all by the gorgeous AR Rahman. Other non-Rahman compositions are Aas Paas Hai Khuda from Anjaana Anjaani, Tajdar-e-Haram by Atif Aslam, Bismillah by Kailash Kher,  Chaap Tilak by the lovely Abida Parveen & Rahat Fateh Ali Khan. I will stop before i get carried way further.


I hope these songs that carry me through some of my deepest moments of despair also somewhere spark that light of Divinity within you when you most need it.

Bismillah.