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The Need To Bloom


A friend asked me for the link to my blog. I opened the app on my phone to send it to her only to notice that I have been amazingly lazy about writing over the last 8 months. Utterly shameful indeed. So in an effort to remedy that and to overcome the laziness (read embarrassment) I am back here. I am not quite exactly sure which one, but one of Elizabeth Gilbert's books (maybe Big Magic) said, we need to show up at our workspaces for our creative muse to show up as well. You need to meet her halfway. I guess the reason I have not been writing is because I tell myself I don't have any ideas - but in reality, I haven't been showing up. I need to have this laptop in front of me, with Blogger open on it, before I can even let the ideas slowly warm up and roll onto this blank canvas. Although, truth be told, I have been contemplating moving my writing to Medium - it just looks nicer and people say there's more readers there. But I'm stubborn like that and this blog (& Blogger) has sustained me through the last decade and now I can not seem abandon it for a shiny new space. But let's see how we feel about that a couple of years down the line.

So 2020. I've never been a big "New Year" person. I believe I have good willpower and discipline (except when it comes to showing up on this blog!), so my resolutions do not have to wait for the new year to be set in motion. Every day for me is a new day to start something new or positive or healthy. It's something I picked up from my yoga practice. A teacher once beautifully described shavasana as a chance to be reborn every single time you enter and exit the practice. So there's my new year right there, a chance to renew something, a chance to rethink, to re-evaluate. So 2020 or the new decade or the hullabaloo about it, has not really made much difference to me or where I am in life. The one good thing though is I've been reading a lot this year. Almost as though, I have this sudden thirst for books that needs to be satisfied pronto!  I feel insecure if I am out and about and do not have a book in my handbag.

In fact, in January I was in Pune for a wedding, we were also visiting the magnificent Ellora caves and spending a few days in the countryside visiting friends and for more sightseeing. I was at that time reading The Age of Kali by William Dalrymple - which if you are even mildly interested in the evolution (or lack thereof ) of India, Indian culture, society, people and politics, you should read! I almost packed a second book because you know, what if  I were to be left without a book. I looked at where the bookmark lay and decided that I have a long way to go, it's just a 5 day trip, Im definitely going to be out and about a lot, so there is no way I can finish this book and be left out in the cold alone to suffer book-less. Hence, I did not carry a spare. Big mistake. I finished the book a day before we were to return with a 5 hour road journey and a 2 hour plane ride still to go. My mom saw the panic in my heart & the desperation in my eyes and lent me her book (Devdutt Patanaik's Yoga Mythology) and she started to read The Age of Kali instead. Close call for sure. Somehow, in spite of my interest for the subject i came back home and promptly dropped the book on Yoga Mythology and picked up something else.

Before Age of Kali, when i was surveying my bookshelf for which book to start -I reluctantly picked up Power of Myth, a conversation between Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers. Reluctant not because I was not interested in the subject, I most definitely was. I was hesitant maybe because the topic was heavy, one could sense that from flipping the pages of the book. But something asked me to pick it up anyway - to be honest, it had been sitting on that shelf staring at me choose every other book but it for the last few months. So I decided to gather up the courage and take it along for a trip to Coorg on Jan 2.

It blew my mind to say the least. I had heard of Joseph Campbell because I had chanced upon his quotes, but I had never truly known the persona he was until I started to read The Power of Myth. And maybe that was a sign. Because every book I have read this year has been magical, blowing-your-mind magical. I have read my share of unputdownable books. But these books that I have had the privilege to share time with have been so fulfilling and so nourishing, that I had to take breaks every few pages just to soak in all the goodness that i was reading. I recently asked someone, if they had ever read a book and felt as though  very single word was written for them, as thought the author had known exactly who you are, what your fears and desires are, what you need in life and has transcribed those into these gorgeous volumes so you can find them. Isn't it magical, that you browse though a bookshop and find titles that seem interesting and pick them up and then they in turn pick you up and transport you to a reality, sometimes unknown, and yet most times, secret & feelings that you have had an inkling of existing deep down in your body somewhere, but never really discovering what they're trying to say. I find it fascinating.

The Power of Myth fascinated me, it shocked me, it gave me hope and it gave me courage. It spoke about religion, about politics, about mother nature and her people, about the stars and the treasure, about love and lovers, about heros and the journeys they undertake, the failures they meet and how they're better for it. When I put that book down at the end I felt like i had lost a friend, I wanted that conversation to go on. But alas, there's many other journeys to go on and many other realms to get lost in. So we move onto the next one. If you do want to check out The Power of Myth, Bill Moyers has it on his website . I highly recommend it, irrespective of whether you believe in myths and magic or not. It has something for all souls and all spirits.

The next book i happened to pick up because a friend and i decided one mad afternoon to start reading it and finish it in two days. Well actually we said one day, but realised we were being foolishly ambitious, and decided two should be just fine. High hopes. We started it read it until 12 at night, then for 5 hours the next morning, sitting in a coffee shop, lying sprawled on the table rather. Then we went out separate ways and continued to read it day and night and finally finished it. By the time we put down Dare to Lead by Brene Brown, we had so much insight into what makes for good leadership and good people management that we could lecture an entire room about it. If you are familiar with Brene's works you will know, she cares deeply about research and fact finding and empirical testing and collecting stories and anecdotes and examples. Her Ted Talk on Vulnerability has changed my life for sure and all her other works, especially Braving the Wilderness speak to my very core. Both that tedtalk and that book I keep going back to when I feel like I'm losing the connect with myself and those around me. They lift me up. Always. Without a fail. Dare to Lead does exactly that in a leadership scenario. It takes the concepts of vulnerability and courage, which might seem paradoxical at first and teaches us how one can not exist without the other at the workplace. There is some great material on her website that takes us through the basics of what's in the book, but to get the real essence of it, read the book!

I then picked up The Hungry Empire by Lizzie Collingham, which talks about how the British Empire in it's quest for land, shaped the food habits and preferences of people all over the world. It tackles some painful parts of when the Brits went on their many conquests from the extinction of Native Irish and American populations, to the hostile working conditions on sugar plantations, to the African slave trade, the China opium addiction and of course the Bengal famine - all the while talking about food. It's a lot of information but at no point does it seems too much or too instructional, it's written like a story and you feel like you're living and eating with the people described in the book.I would totally recommend it to anyone who loves history and who feels drawn to how modern empires changed the course of the world.

This brings me to the book that I am currently reading - Women Who Run With The Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. IT IS. MAGIC. It speaks to my wild soul, to the part in me which always knows where to go, what to do, what or who to choose and what to stay away from. The part that sniffs around when something is not right, the part that is loyal and fierce but playful and high spirited at the same time. I have stopped a million times already in the course of reading the book, because i can NOT get enough. I have messaged the friend who gifted me the book and my bestie in the middle of the night, telling them that my heart is brimming with happiness that this book has been written because it calls out to the wild in me and tells me that all that I had ever felt in my life about this wolfish nature is not just in my head it is a real thing! I'm still reading the book and reeling in it's enchantment. But at some point I intend to write about this book and how it is slowly but surely transforming me. It is especially what I need in life right now with everything that is happening. I'm glad to have been gifted a guide.

Wow, so this turned out to be a book review blog post. Well, if that's what the muse wanted me to share, what is what flowed out of my heart. I'll end by quoting Joseph Campbell and Clarisaa about flowering and blooming. They both speak about ancient myths and how much we have to learn from them as humans an as women, but firstly we need to know how to bloom.


"One way or the other, we all have to find what best fosters the flowering of our humanity in this contemporary life and dedicate ourselves to that" ~ Joseph Campbell

"I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories..water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom" ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estés

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