Skip to main content

July 24 - last leg now.


Dedicating this song below to my trip to Portugal. A movie I hated, but a song I quote like combining Hindi and Portuguese Fado styles, Yaadon mein from Jab Harry Met Sejal penned by Irshad Kamil. Echoing the feelings I carry in my heart as I leave Europe to head back to my life in India - happy to go back, albeit reluctantly.

เคฏाเคฆों เคฎें เคœเคฒเคคे เคฐเคนเคจा เคคेเคฐा เคฎेเคฐा
เคฏाเคฆों เคฎें เคœเคฒเคคे  เคฐเคนเคจे เค•ो เคฎिเคฒे เคนैं เค•्เคฏा
เคฏाเคฆें เคญी เคฒेเคœा เคคू เค…เคชเคจी เคœเคนां เคšเคฒा
เคฏाเคฆों เคฎें เคกूเคฌे เคฆिเคจ เคญी เคขเคฒे เคนैं เค•्เคฏा

เคคुเคฎเคธे เคตाเคฆा เคจเคนीं
เคคुเคฎเคธे เคถिเค•เคตा เคจเคนीं
เคคेเคฐा เคตเคน เคนैं เคœเคนां
เคนोเค• เคฎैं เคจ เคœเคนां

เคคुเคฎเคธे ... 

เคนाเคฒा เค•ी เคฏเคน เคเคนเคธाเคธ เคนैं เคคू เคชाเคธ เคนैं
เคซिเคฐ เค•्เคฏों เค…เคญी เคธे เคนी เคฎुเคे
เคฏाเคฆें  เคคेเคฐी เค†เคจा เคฒเค—ी 

เค›ोเฅœों เคฎेเคฐी เคคोเคน เค–ैเคฐ เคนैं
เคœिเคจเคชे เคšเคฒें เคนเคฎ เคธाเคฅ เคฎे
เค‰เคจ เคฐाเคธ्เคคों เค•ि เคœाเคจ เคญी
เคœाเคจे เคฒเค—ी

เคคुเคฎเคธे เคฆूเคฐी เคจเคนीं
เคคुเคฎเคธे เคฌिเค›เคกी เคจเคนीं
เคฅोเฅœा เคธा เคคू เคตเคนाँ
เคฅोเฅœी เคธी เคฎैं เคฏเคนां

I am writing this as I am seated at the Abu Dhabi airport, very sleep deprived, craving some hot meal and a hot shower. Last leg of my series of "OMG I am going to be 31" and definitely the last leg of my travels and work in Europe and the UK.

I know I should be writing more o my last day. But I am kind of sad today. When I head out of the Bangalore Airport, I will be glad to see my parents waiting for me. But I also know as I walk towards the exit, i will have completed the sequence of pain in my heart from when I left Bergerac. So all that I had blocked out from feeling because i had time in London and a trip to Lisbon planned is going to hit me like a wave. And I will have no option but to drown and feel everything and re-emerge. Because Zendagi Migzara.

I do not know how to describe what I am feeling right now, so I am going to hide behind the movies and pick a scene that best captures my mood and my heart. This was, quote weirdly is from Jab We Met - a movie also directed by Imtiaz Ali, one of my favourite film makers in Bollywood, who directed Jab Harry Met Sejal from above.

Geet the protagonist is faced with two choices and as she faces what's in store for her and her future -something she had always prayed for and desired, she can not shake off the feeling of a loss, of a letting go of another desire. And she describes it as an impatience in her heart, as though she was missing a train.

 I feel that right now, as though I am missing a train.

Hopefully, I will prove myself wrong when I arrive in India and dance with joy. After all, I am going to be 31 in a few hours - it is time to be wise.

Or is it time to give into our madness even more?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Zindagi Migzara.

As I dimmed the lights of my room last night, Singapore's hot and humid air changed to a gush of strong cold wind. The curtains fluttered and made my ddlj cow bells ring. I turned and stared at them for a long time.  I readjusted the laptop on my bed and plonked myself against two big pillows. My eyes closed themselves. There was a silence that was neither deafening nor lonely. It was just what silence is meant to be.... silent. And my curtains moved again, moving the bells with them. The bells took me back to Shahrukh and his movies. I opened my eyes and looked at those bells for a long long time. My mom had picked them up from Switzerland for me. I thought of her and teared up. I wanted her now. I wanted her touch. It was 10pm at home in India and at this time, after dinner and closing the kitchen, my mother, takes a shower. She comes out of the bathroom, and brings with her a waft of her talcum powder and her body lotion. That fragrance can make you forget all your worries...
Post a Comment
Read more

Thanks, Dad

Do Nainaa Aur ek Kahani Thoda Sa Baadal Thoda Sa Paani Aur ek Kahani Choti Si Do Jheelon Mein Wo Behati Rehati Hai Koi Sune Ya Na Sune Kehti Rehti Hai Kuch Likh Ke Aur Kuch Zubani ~Gulzar ~~Masoom This one is devoted to my Father. You know, while growing up parents always say things to the kids and they often end their arguments with "We've grown up, crossed all the paths that you will be crossing, and we know what its like" And you often say to yourself, no way! That was a different time and these are different times, things are now different, the paths are different. And so you go on, do what you want to do. It's often happened to me. And it happened again, when I told my parents that I was dating someone. My Father wrote me an email and said a lot of things. He didnt shout, he didnt preach. But it had a nice "conversation over coffee" feel to it. And I love re-reading that email sometimes. The crux of what he said was, "I...
Post a Comment
Read more

Goodbye 29 - July 21

Omg. 4 days to go. In four days I'll be leaving behind some of my most beautiful years but also some of my most traumatic. All lovely learning experiences nevertheless. Speaking of learning experiences, today I want to very quickly talk about being a bit more assertive. A couple of years back my manager at work then told me - I think you need to speak up more and be more assertive. Let's work on these skills and then let's also work on your promotion -   At that time I silently said in my head "yea right, just tell me straight up you don't want to put me up for promotion instead of giving me this corporate mumbo-jumbo". I have always been a believer of hard work speaks for itself and you don't need to be screaming from the rooftops about your "work" for you to get ahead in life, or for your worth to be recognised and rewarded. I have always been and will always be an introvert. I do not come across as one because I am very social and I ...
Post a Comment
Read more