Do not go gently into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
~
Dylan Thomas
Today was 3 years since he had moved to Bali. He still remembers the day he told his family about his decision to move to the island of Gods. As much as Australians loved visiting Bali for it’s surf spots and great food - and so had they been on multiple trips as a family - but moving your life there was something else. What was the need - they said. It was a 4 hour flight away - it could be reached at any point in time. What had prompted Michael to take this decision? - they asked. "I don’t think I can spend one more day wearing a suit and going to the central business district (CBD) working this bank job" he said. And followed it up with - all I want to do is teach people how to surf. It gives me immense joy to share this passion with other people - and there is something about Bali - this will not be a financially mad decision as well - I have worked on a business plan to start and run a surfing school. After all, being a banker had taught him how to plan his money, and how to sell an idea to people. He had finally managed to convince his parents that this wasn’t as dangerous a plan as they thought it to be.
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
~
Dylan Thomas
Today was 3 years since he had moved to Bali. He still remembers the day he told his family about his decision to move to the island of Gods. As much as Australians loved visiting Bali for it’s surf spots and great food - and so had they been on multiple trips as a family - but moving your life there was something else. What was the need - they said. It was a 4 hour flight away - it could be reached at any point in time. What had prompted Michael to take this decision? - they asked. "I don’t think I can spend one more day wearing a suit and going to the central business district (CBD) working this bank job" he said. And followed it up with - all I want to do is teach people how to surf. It gives me immense joy to share this passion with other people - and there is something about Bali - this will not be a financially mad decision as well - I have worked on a business plan to start and run a surfing school. After all, being a banker had taught him how to plan his money, and how to sell an idea to people. He had finally managed to convince his parents that this wasn’t as dangerous a plan as they thought it to be.
He spent the next half year travelling to Bali every month and cruising around the lanes of Canggu on his scooter - speaking to everyone from business owners to notaries to property agents - all people he needed to know and work with to start this surf place. By the end of those six months, he had identified some land around jalan pantai batu mejan, which lead to the Echo beach - the surfers paradise in Canggu. He hired and further trained a few balinese surfers to who were not only great surfers themselves but also could teach others the sport. He found himself a house to live in and he was all ready to book a one-way ticket from Sydney on his next trip to Bali.
As he packed up his place in Sydney, he took one long hard look at the vision board he had put up on his living room that had post it and pin-ups of his finances, bali, canggu, naming and branding ideas , surfing techniques - and on one corner of that board, he saw a post it that had a name his ex, Kara, had suggested to him long ago. It was a bright summer afternoon on Bondi beach. Kara was lounging on the beach while Mike was surfing to his heart's content. When he finally got out of the sea, it was 2:00 pm and Kara was famished. Mike apologised for losing track of time and explained himself saying "When I'm there in that moment, after I have ridden a wave, I think to myself - one last wave and then I do that, and then i say again - one last wave", "and it never ends" Kara said, "maybe you should call your surf school that - the last wave". She knew surfing was his passion and opening a surf school was his dream. What she was shocked by was that he decided to do it in Bali and not in Sydney - many weeks and months of fighting settled the fact that this was to be the end of their 6 year long relationship. It had devastated Kara and the struggle to choose between the woman he loved and his dream killed something in him too. She understood him too, but couldn't see why he needed to go all way to a different country when this project could be fulfilled right here in Australia. She loved her job and didn't love Bali all that much to uproot herself from Sydney and start afresh. As she walked out of the apartment following the movers with her stuff, she looked back at him and said goodbye and added that she'd never thought him to be this heartless. Mike re-imagined that scene as he took down that vision board, took a long deep breath and sighed out.
He had almost forgotten about that name until he went to a memorial service of a surfer friend of his father's. And someone read out the poem "do not go gentle into that good night" by Dylan Thomas. The stanza in that poem :
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
made him recollect Kara's "The Last Wave" and something about ti stuck to him. He was vision boarding possible names for his school and he couldn't shake "the last wave" off. It might be morbid in the context of how he was re-introduced to the name at a memorial service but there was something poetic and compelling about a last wave. And he just had to call his school that.
Three years ago and here was today, May 10, 2017. Canggu had since grown from a sleepy rice-field landscaped town along the west coast of Bali to a buzzing surfer and yogi hipster town with many brunch places propping up and more than one spot to get great australian coffee. The last bit had made him the happiest. He had seen the town changing and how - all for the better though - and Bali had an inexplicable way to making sure things grew organically - as though this particular brunch place had always meant to exist at that spot or that particular homestay was always there - promising people free surfing lessons and free wi-fi. The Last Wave had done well, thankfully. He had got in around the time when people were beginning to discover Canggu. People other than surfers that is. Because it was a hidden gem along the coastline, one that the surfing community kept mum about to non-surfers. Not for them the tourist crowd of Kuta and Seminyak with their multiple shopping boutiques and mad traffic jams. They wanted this little town to remain sleepy. The only other folks who seemed to have discovered this surfing haven is the yogis. But then, yogis seemed to have the birthright to exist everywhere in Bali. One yoga school propped up and then the second and now there were loads of smaller studios that existed in the many parallel by-lanes of Canggu.
So much had changed in his life since then and yet so little. He still loved to surf, and was still as passionate about the surf scool as he was the day he started his first spreadsheet about planning his business and the move to Bali. It was the right decision and it came to him at the right time for sure. He had enjoyed his job initially before it became all consuming, leaving him little time to enjoy life. It was then that he realised that his heart was not in it, that he wasn’t living his potential because there was something else calling him elsewhere. As with most things in his adult life, the answer came with surfing. His first time on a board was with his father’s younger brother, Uncle Brad - who was a favorite amongst kids. His preposterous stories about his travels that no one to date knew to be real or fake, his huge grin and readiness with jokes made him a laughing riot to be around and a favorite among kids.
One day when Mike was 9, Uncle Brad decided to take him into the sea on his own surf board and Mike still remembered the thrill of being on the board and fear and excitement of the approaching wave - how was it going to look when they went under? From that paddle boarding to eventually getting his own surf board to now running his own school -he had surely come a long way. Surfing was his meditation he said. When he was riding a wave, there was nothing - except him, his breath and the ocean enabling this for him. It was meditative in the sense that you could zone out everything else and be here now, with nothing screaming for your attention, nothing distracting you, the rhythm of your breath trying to match the rhythm of the wave, trying to match the rhythm that belonged to your board. All in harmony, wave, board and breath resulting in that harmonous ride. That’s all you needed, one great ride and all those hours of endless paddling would be worthwhile - and then you say to yourself - one last wave and paddle away again.
He was saying the exact same things about how meditative surfing was, over a Bintang to someone who had asked him what attracted him to surfing, when Chris heard him from the other table. Chris leaned in towards the group and said “that almost sounds like an experience I have on the yoga mat dude - and trust me there’s much to be said about the similarities between yoga and surfing - although, yoga would definitely end up being the father of the art of surfing” That’s how Mike and Chris first met - like all fateful meetings in the island - over a pint of bintang beer. Chris, a surfer from Australia himself, knew Mike would appreciate the beauty of yoga as much he had appreciated what the ocean and riding on those waves taught you - lessons you could apply in life. Chris, a keen surfer himself, often used to say “On the board and off it” which since then has changed to “On the mat and off it”. He now ran his own yoga studio in Canggu - it was a space he had created and designed himself. After spending many months with his teacher in Dharamshala in India, he decided to further that legacy and those teachings at his own space in Bali - and Canggu seemed to be perfect for it - his surfer spirit and his inner yogi were both satisfied with that choice and he went onto build what was Canggu's most beautiful yoga studio : Samasthiti. Located in an alley off of Pantai Batu Bolong, Samasthiti was a sanctuary on it’s own - it had a big lovely statue of Shiva at a corner in the garden. Shiva, the adi yogi, serenely watching Samasthiti run with his closed peaceful eyes, with the ever flowing ganga cascading down his curly tresses. Samasthiti had two shalas one on top floor and one on the ground floor : both huge spaces with wooden floors and high balinese styled thatched roofs that were surrounded by light and air on all sides.
The studio on the top floor was gorgeous for early morning and late evening classes ~ you could catch the sun spreading it’s light over Bali and the moon reclaiming it’s position back in the evenings, as you practiced traditional Hatha yoga - no frills and no fluff. Chris also ran a teacher training program and his motto was just that - to train a bunch of teachers who taught what came to them naturally - please don’t go out there and teach fluff, he said to his batch of students year after year. The classes at Samasthiti were simple and made you aware of what’s going on inside of you - the part of yoga that the western world has forgotten about. Not for them the crazy instagrammy asanas - they always ended their classes with a short pranayama and meditation. The asanas fulfilled the role they were meant to fulfill - to prepare the body for long periods of meditation - so they kept it simple - worked all aspects of your body and focused on your mind instead.
Chris invited Mike over to come over to check out the studio and take a class maybe? They decided to go surfing the next Sunday morning and Chris invited Mike to a Yin yoga class at Samasthiti post that. Mike turned up at the studio 15 minutes before class not knowing what to expect and not expecting his world to turn upside down. Chris taught class himself and Mike realised he had never before ever been in this deep state of relaxation - it wasn’t sleep, it was just pure relaxation, with complete awareness. There were poses that were hard to hold for that duration of 4-5 minutes for sure - but Chris’s instructions and the props helped him adjust to the initial moments of discomfort and he learnt to relax into the pose soon after. When the class ended he sat on his mat and didn’t want to leave. He wanted more and more. And more. When he shared this with Chris, Chris laughed and said “it was my hook to bring you into the big bad world of yoga, now that you’ve tasted blood, you’ll come back for more. It’s like the time when you rode your first wave or in your case every time you say to yourself - this will be the last wave!” Precisely, Mike thought to himself. So he came back for many more lessons and was soon enrolled in a teacher training batch and in a month was certified to be a Hatha Yoga teacher. Chris was thrilled at the teacher Mike had turned out to be, his journey as a yogi and his deep appreciation and respect for the ancient science of yoga - all 8 aspects - ashtanga of yoga. He soon offered Mike a job at Samasthiti and so Mike along with running The Last Wave was also a part time teacher at Samasthiti.
As he walked into Samasthiti this full moon Wednesday, he felt grateful for whatever the last three years had brought him : new friends, who were almost family, a new life : CBD and the banker’s suit was left behind, far behind : a new passion in yoga, another way to give back what he valued in life to others, to share that joy with others. There was nothing he wasn’t thankful for. It had been a tough start getting the school started and known and established, but he stood by his conviction that this would work and it did. He had a class on gratefulness planned - he wanted to share his state of being with his students today - this lightness he felt. He had a hatha class followed by Yin - perfect for a full moon night. Ending a Yin class with the moon risen to it’s full spectacularity in the background seemed perfect. Since he was early, he decided to go up to the studio and meditate a bit before the class. He got a bolster for himself, placed it on the mat and settled down for a few minutess of quietness of being.
During one of his inhales, he felt his breath lift his heart and leave it there even with the exhale and this feeling of lightness expanded, something compelled him to open his eyes and he saw her. Seated right in front of him. Her hair draping over her shoulders : one curl, two curls, three curls, innumerable ringlets framing her face. She sat in meditation, also on a bolster, wore a grey yoga pant and a deep maroon top with a beautiful light translucent pink lotus flower printed on it. He just stared, her eyes were closed anyway. Was she balinese or spanish or Indian? Maybe Indian, the nose-pin seems to say Indian. Just as he thought that, she opened her eyes and stared right back at him. They held each other’s gaze for a nano second before smiling. She said hi, and he smiled wider and nodded and said a faintish hi back. It didn’t get too awkward because time was inching closer to 4:00 pm and folks had started walking in. He got up to go fix the music and crossed her, and heaved the sigh he had been holding under his breath all this while. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time. Maybe since Kara. Very rarely had someone he hadn’t even spoken to taken his breath away like this girl.
He said to himself : he had a class to teach and was a disciplined yoga teacher and so keep these thoughts aside. Thinking maybe he could speak to her post the class a little bit more, he walked into class and sat on the teacher's mat and welcome everyone. He taught his class on gratefulness and led them into a lovely shavasana, holding that safe space for them to drift away. He tried hard to not get distracted by the lady on the front row and she seemed very focused on her own practice as well, she had her eyes closed for most part of the practice.
After wrapping up the class he just sat there as students wiped down their mats and collected their stuff to leave, but not her, she stayed there on her mat - she had bought her own mat, he noticed - stretching into gentle forward folds. When she raised her torso from her butterfly pose, he asked if she was staying for Yin and she said yes she was. She asked if he was teaching, he nodded again and she said 'Thank you' and he only managed a tiny laugh. He chided himself for doing that. Why did he laugh? It wasn't even a laugh, it was a giggle of sorts ,a smile breaking into a laugh. He wanted to say something more but she walked away and he heard her footsteps on the winding staircase, she was heading downstairs to the reception area. He got up from his mat and followed her down, she was paying up for the next class, then went and got a cup of tea and sat in front of the steps leading to the lawn, gazing at the Shiva statue. He looked at her profile, almost tempted to grab a glass of tea himself and go sit beside her - there was something that was drawing him towards her. But that would be wrong, and inappropriate. This wasn’t a bar or a restaurant and he wasn’t a random person. This was a yoga studio and he was a teacher and she a student. He couldn’t go chat her up. Muttering a no under his breath he climbed back to the studio and checked the music for the next class and settled back down on his mat, reviewing his notebook for the class plan for his next session. She came back in, chatting with another student, who placed a mat next to hers. He didn’t even know her name. Couldn’t he at least have asked her name instead of that stupid laugh he gave her in return for a sincere “Thank You”. She brought in all props needed for a yin class and sat back on her mat and gave him a huge smile. He smiled back and they held their gaze again for a bit. He tore his eyes away only when a student walked up to him to say hi and asked if he was willing to sit with them and meditate post the class since it was a full moon night and a couple of them were meditating in a group in the studio - he smiled and agreed - he didn’t have to get to this birthday party until later that night - so he could totally fit in a full moon meditation.
The class was a simple pure yin class - he didn’t talk too much - kept instructions to minimum, walked around more to help people with props. She was in her element in yin, it seemed. She seemed to know what prop she needed for which asana and what adjustments to make and settled into it very quickly and didn’t move at all until he asked them to move out of the pose. The moon was high up in the sky when the class ended : as he sat down on his mat with a namaste mudra in front of his hands, thanking everyone for attending, he scanned the room meeting people’s eyes and bowing ever so gently and he stopped at her and spoke the rest of his parting sentences as he looked at her. And then when he couldn’t look anymore he smiled one last time at her and she smiled back. She began wiping down her mat as the group of girls he agreed to meditate with came up to him and sat in a circle with him being at the head of the circle. As he closed his eyes to meditate his last visual was her looking at the circle with interest as she brushed her curls away from her face using her left hand. And that visual stayed with him for a long time - almost until the end of meditation when he chanted the Aum.
She seemed like a gift for him completing his three years in Canggu. He didn’t know if he would see her again. Something told him he would - but he was feeling this weird elation in his heart by just that tiny almost-silent encounter. He kept that warmth in as he rode home that full moon night humming a tune under his breath which turned into him whistling into the wind, his hair down from a bun - flowing backwards with a mind of it's own. “Will i see you again ?” he said softly into the night.
His question was answered the next day as he rode through jalan tanah barak and saw her sitting on the side table with two other girls at La Baracca. He looked to his right, taking his eyes off the road for a mini second, and she turned at the same time and smiled and waved, and he smiled back and rode on. Should he go back? What would he say, she was with her friends. What would he said if he went back anyway? It would be awkward. So he decided not to. He parked his scooter at the parking at Shady Shack and went in for dinner with a couple of friends slightly dejected at this missed opportunity - so near yet so far. Why wasn’t this being slightly more possible?
The next morning, he decided to attend Chris’s 7 am class and went in and amost wanted to shout when he saw her. It had to be her, that curly hair, those shoulders, that straight back, Chris instructed everyone to get a strap if they felt tight in the hamstrings and she got up and turned and saw him looking at her. She smiled and walked to his mat and said hi. He said hi back properly this time and walked out with her to the props area. “Good dinner last night?” He managed to ask. “Yes I love La Baracca. How was your night?” “Great, very relaxed I was at Shady Shack, right next door”. He bent his knees, dropped his head down as he said that and drew all his hair together and put them up in a bun holding it with a band. She watched him, giggled and did the same “my trick too” and all of those curls were up in a Shiva-like bun. The sun shining through the shutters and on her face - making it glow even more. Her eyes sparkled with this bright intensity that drew him towards her even more. As they walked in, he decided to move his mat up to where she was. He did, she looked at him and smiled. And they spent the next 90 mins breathing and moving together synchronously. Their fingers brushed against each other at Shavasana and neither of them made the effort to move their palms. At the end of the class, which was a moving meditation with Chris, they were too overwhelmed by the practice to say anything and silently wiped down their mats, picked them up and headed up. As she packed her mat into her bag, he looked at her and wished he could ask her for coffee but he had a big group booked The Last Wave and he needed to be there. Maybe he could ask her for dinner tonight? As he was thinking this to himself, Chris came and spoke to him about something. She waited for him, but Chris had many things to say - she looked anxious to go - maybe she was late for something. The students for the next class started pouring in and in that confusion she couldn’t just stand there blocking the way, so she walked towards the stairs. She looked back before she started her descent, one last time and smiled at him, he looked at her and smiled and Chris tapped on his shoulder to regain his attention. He looked away, again not knowing if he will ever see her again.
Credits
Title : Pieter-Paul Walraven for 'The Last Wave'
Comments
Post a Comment