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salt and pepper you


Among throngs of people
My eyes searched for you
I tried to spot your salt and pepper hair
And craned my neck to view

My heart was thumping against my ribs
I didn't know what to do
Had you already left ?
That couldn't be true
How could i not see you one last time
How could i not feel your heart beat against mine ?
Just one last time
I was ready to promise anything away
The Universe was treating this sacred moment
like child's play

Someone heard my prayer,
For you tapped my shoulder
and said my name
In that moment
I tried to memorise
The creases around your mouth
The ever present glint in your eye
How long can I hold onto it?
Maybe until next month
Or next year
Maybe my entire life
And then maybe some more.

Your familiar scent reached me
The aroma of that clothes softener
Meant so much
It meant more than you'll ever know
It meant more than I'll ever show
It meant you.

So for 10.65 SGD a bottle
I can capture you forever
And every Sunday you'll float
Into my house
Like a memory long forgotten
But always a scent anew.

I heard myself saying I'd loved you
And that I will for as long as I lived
It wasn't me who was speaking
It was the girl
Who gave her naked heart to you.

You held my waist and pulled me closer
And we kissed at a crowded airport
It reminded me of another time
Same airport,
Arrivals & not Departures though.
But a different me
And a very different you.

You pulled away & turned your back
and took two steps towards the gates
I wanted to call out
But two steps looked too far
Too far a bridge to cross
Too far for you to stop
Too far for me to call out,
And too far for you to turn around.

My voice seemed to have died a silent death
but your steps never faltered.
Again that familiar story of you walking away
And me never knowing what to say.

I followed your salt and pepper hair
Until it was lost in the crowd
Until it was too much to bear
So i and my heavy heart
Walked back into a life without worry
And almost without a care.

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