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Mast Maula, Mast Kalandar

शामे मलंग सी
रातें सुरंग सी
बागी उड़ान पे ही
ना जाने क्यूँ
इलाही मेरा जी आये आये
इलाही मेरा जी आये आये


~ Illahi, Yeh Jawaani Hain Deewani
~~ Amitabh Bhattacharya

There were a lot of German bakeries in Leh, but the ekdum original one was the one run by a sweet-natured Sikh gentleman, who has a German wife. Their coffee and their breads are the best and they are rated very highly on Trip Advisor and Lonely Planet. So a visit to Leh is incomplete for a tourist without a meal here.  It was one of Treya's favorite Sunday places to go to, and Aman really liked it too. So when they decided they need to talk, they both agreed to go grab a bite and sip on coffee at the bakery while they both caught up on each other's lives and maybe talk about what they really wanted to ask each other.

They sat down at a table outside and ordered for bread and some pancakes and 2 cups of coffee. "So" Aman said. "No, I get to talk first!" said Treya, "How on earth did the lazy wedding crazy photographer I knew decide to join the army? And how did they select you ? And how long have you been here for? Did you know I was here? If yes, why didn't you get in touch?" He rolled over laughing as he saw her expressions change from excitement to curiosity to a hint of anger in the end. "I'll tell you, I'll tell you" and with that he began his story. "I've always wanted to join the army" And then Treya shrieked, "listen Aman, I know you well enough for you to tell me the truth, don't give me this nonsense, always wanted to join the army it seems, yea right!"

He laughed again and started telling her the truth. One evening he met his school friend, now an army officer and heard him talk about the experience and what it felt like and the passion and the undying love for your country and the honour to serve it. Also the thrill, the risk, the danger. Yes, it sounded like what any man would want to do. But what interested Aman was the intense passion in Robin's voice and his eyes when he spoke about what he does for a living and how it had changed him as a person, and how he valued all that he had more, all that he took for granted for so many years of his life. Aman spoke to his father about it and told him that he wanted to give it a try. He applied to the IMA (Indian Military Academy) and got through and was called for a test. And then a physical test and an interview later, he was selected. Finally in this prestigious college, institution rather (college is too small a name for that immense structure and all that it stood for) in Dehradun. And what a year it was. He was in the Cariappa battalion, Kohima company. Is she getting bored? he asked, and she shook her head. She was just watching him talk about all of this, like a child. She hadn't see this zeal on his face when he spoke about photography. So, one year later he graduated as an officer of the Indian Army. As he crossed the "Antim Pag" in Chetwode Hall, graduating, he mouthed the words written on the steps:

The safety, honour and welfare of your country, comes first, always and every time
The honour, welfare and comfort of the men you command, come next,
Your own ease, comfort and safety come last, always and every time.

So, that's it, he was now here posted in Leh. He just arrived about 2 months back and didn't know that she was here. He still loves his camera and in fact Leh has been wonderful so far. And would she believe it, he even photographed a local wedding in Leh! She was still looking at him, lost, thinking about what he said, how he said it and the past. "Hello, still here? i'm done, now your turn" She snapped out of her day dream and smiled. And told him her story, the job offer and how she accepted it and how mom and dad weren't too happy. But she felt like she had to do this. "You know Bangalore wasn't the same after...." And then she stopped herself " I just felt like I had lived my whole life in one city, so it was time to move. After all if you don't do such things when you are young, when will you, right?" He noticed her pause and her shoddy cover up job about Bangalore not being the same.

"So you like it here? Doesn't it get lonely sometimes?" She shook her head as she gulped her coffee and set her cup down "Not really you know, that was my main fear when I decided to take up the job, but it has been lovely so far. I go back home for the winters and come back when the roads clear up, right in time for spring, it's beautiful. The silence is good, I get time to think a lot. You know sometimes I feel so much about so many things and my thoughts about a million things are all over the place and I don't know how to explain it to you....there was this John Green quote "My thoughts are like stars, that I cannot fathom into constellations" - that's how I feel. Anyhow, enough of serious talk. Now that you are here, I have company!"

"Haha, yes, I am sure, the rest of the boys in the Unit will be thrilled and jealous when I tell them about you?" "Ooooooh army boys! So, when are you introducing me to them" "Hey! I am an army boy too you know" "No, you're not, you are the same geeky Aman" And they laughed. More such silly banter followed and it was 8 am already. They had to get back soon.

 Treya controlled herself all the while, but she just couldn't take it anymore. After Aman asked for the bill, she finally gathered the guts to ask him " So how is the army job treating you and Radha? Must be tough right" He looked at her and suddenly there was an unspoken thought, feeling, call it what you will, that passed between them, just a second, actually maybe not even a second, a milli-second maybe. There was hope, pain and love? Nah, not love,  a version of love maybe. Whatever. After that passed, he smiled sadly. "Radha and I split after I decided to join the army. She  couldn't understand why I would leave something good like wedding photography to go into something as risky and dangerous as the Army. People usually do the opposite, she said, leave their jobs to go pursue their dreams and do what they truly love. But here I was, taking the road not many people took. I tried explaining what I felt about the army to her and my conversation with Robin, but she thought I was being impulsive, she even called me Hrithik Roshan from Lakshya. Haha. But i just had to do it, you know? Like how you said you just had to move out of Bangalore and live in Leh, of all places? Like that.

Radha always liked the comfort of knowing what her tomorrow would be like, so this new twist and uncertainty scared her. She did try, she really did, but she just couldn't get my passion and I saw that. So we decided to end it mutually. I guess we should never have gotten back. But you know, when she came back, all our memories, our holidays, the times we spent with each other, came rushing back and I wanted her back in my life and she wanted me. I should have thought about it. I mean, I can't tell you Treya, my head and heart were doing somersaults like 24/7, for those few days just after she came back. On one side there was Radha, and I loved her, i really did, and then there was you.." And they were interrupted by the waiter who got the bill. And that moment passed. What was he going to say? What would her reaction be. He almost started talking again, "Treya, I am so sorry , for what I did..." And then she cut it short saying "No, don't be, we never promised each other anything.....I think we should go now. Captain Aman, the nation beckons you!" He laughed and they got up to leave. They exchanged phone numbers and he said he would call her, they should catch up over the weekend. "Yes, I need to meet those men in uniform!" "You will meet A man in uniform and that's me" he said and climbed his bike.

And then he left. She stood there, with her hand on her cycle basket, looking at his back. She was happy. At that moment, she was happy. There was no fluttering of the heart or non-stop music playing around her, but just silence, but a nice peaceful silence. It was happiness. Aman stopped a little away and turned back to wave at her and said "Phir milenge jaan-e-man, miss me !"

She laughed and said "Mad boy" and he rode away. With the promise of meeting again. Maybe a promise of something new ? Or the promise of something old and comforting. Time will tell. She rode away humming this tune:

कैसी तेरी खुदगर्ज़ी
लब  नमक रमे ना  मिस्री
कैसी तेरी खुदगर्ज़ी
तुझे प्रीत पुरानी बिसरी
मस्त मौला मस्त कलंदर
तू हवा का एक बवंडर
…....

~ Kabira, Yeh Jawaani Hain Deewani
~~ Amitabh Bhattacharya


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