joto dure aami dhaaee
kothao dukkho, kothao mrityu,
kotha bichchedo naae
mrityu she dhore mrityur roop
dukkho hoye he dokkhero koop
toma hote jaabe ,hoeye bimukh
aaponaar paane chaayi
~Rabindranath Tagore
This is a love story. It's Debashish and Nondini's story. It's about their endless and everlasting love for each other. But it is also a love of God.
Debashish and Nondini both were from Kolkata. Both from well to-do families in Kolkata. Nondini was from a family of musicians. Her father taught Rabindra-sangeet. The love of music flowed in Nondini's veins as well. Her heart and body always had music in them. In her saddest moments, music comforted her. In her happiest moments, music elevated her joy. Debasish was also an artist. He wrote and directed plays. He loved Kolkata and the life there. Yes it wasn't the best place to be if you wanted to earn money and wasn't a part of the now talked about "Indian growth story", but he loved the city nonetheless. Apart from all it's politics, Kolkata was the only city in the country where he felt like he was living life and that time was not running out. He sensed each and every second and lived each and every minute. There is a saying in Bangla, 'Life is like a river, waters that flow by, never return'. And he lived his life on that principle, time passes once never to return. So make the most of it now and here.
Debasish and Nondini met on a musical evening. Debashish was directing a play called "Noukadubi", translated, it means "Boat Wreck" and it was originally a Rabindranath Tagore composition. Nondini went with her parents to watch the play when it was running. Dressed in a beautiful Khadi saree, her hair tied in a plait, long and lustrous. A few curls falling on her face, and big beautiful silver earrings. Debashish saw her enter the hall and take a seat and throughout the play, he stood in the corner of the stage and saw her reaction. He saw her cry and he saw her smile. He didn't care about anyone else in the theatre, he didn't even care about the play then, he just wanted to watch her. And as he stood staring at her, he saw her cry. A faint glow from the orange lights on the stage lit her face and tears flowed down her face in a scene. He found a tear trickle down his face as well. And as he bought his hands up to wipe it, his trance broke with the audience applause. He had to go on stage, but all the while, he kept saying to himself "I need to meet this woman." He went on stage and his eyes were fixed on Nondini. And for a split second their eyes met and they were lost in that stare. The curtains came down Debashish rushed to the front, but Nondini was lost in the crowd eager to make it's way out.
The play was a success. Newspapers called it one of the finest adaptations of Tagore's Noukadubi. Critics praised it. But none of it mattered to Debashish. The play was a success when he saw Nondini cry. His friends and him were sitting in a tea stall and drinking Chai when he saw her again. She was crossing the road with her friends. In a beautiful khadi saree again, with a yellow border. Her plait swung sideways as she laughed and joked as carefree as a young school girl. Without thinking for a second, Deb rushed, calling out to her "Madam" "Excuse me". She was far ahead and the Saturday crowd kept him from running on the sidewalk. But he followed and finally caught up with her at a bus stop.
He tapped on her shoulder and said, "Excuse me". She turned and met his eyes, a flash of recognition dashed across. She remembered him. She was about to say "You are the director from 'Noukadubi' when her friends pulled her, their bus was here. He followed her and climbed onto the bus. And they finally spoke. She praised him for the play and told him that it moved her, and something had moved her that deeply after a long time. They spoke about Bengal and Tagore and Kolkata. She spoke about music and he spoke about his stories and what he was working on. Her friends were busy in themselves. finally her stop came and she was about to get off when he asked her for her name : she smiled and said " I thought, you'd never ask : Nondini", to which he smiled and replied "And I am...", she said "I know ..Debashish"
Deb was in love. Nondini was like a spell. He thought about her all the time. They met again, and again and again. They bonded over music and chai. And unknowingly fell in love. once Nondini was practicing with her father when they decided to sing Tomaro Ashime. It was beautiful. Whenever father and daughter practiced together, the house came to a standstill. Everyone from her mother to the servants in the house to her grandmother, would stop what they were doing and close their eyes and listen to the duo sing. After the song got over Nondini's father placed his hand on her head and told her there was a marriage proposal for her. Her eyes welled up and she bent her head down. Her father thought she was upset like any daughter would be to leave her childhood home and that it had dawned on her that it's her time to be wed now. But Nondini herself didn't know why she had cried. Was it what her father thought it was or was it something else?
She met Debashish that evening and as they sat on a bench in a park at the banks of the Hoogly watching the sun set, a boatman sang a melancholy: Baroshekar aador meke, Bheshe elam sagor theke, Baleer toteh notun disha. . It made them both close their eyes and listen.. The song reached the depths of their being. Nondini opened her eyes in between and looked to side and saw Deb's face. If peace and happiness could be captured, it would have been his face then. They didn't need to speak out their love aloud. Deb made her happy. And Deb had chosen Nondini as his soulmate in that day in the theatre itself.
The next day, Nondini sat on her mother's feet as her mother oiled her hair. Her father was sitting on an old cane chair and reading the newspaper. She opened her eyes from the relaxing massage and said "I want to say something to both of you" As her father lowered his reading glasses and his newspaper and placed them on his lap, she began talking and she told them about Debashish, what he does, where he lives, what his parents do. Everything. She ended it by telling them that she would like to marry him and really wants them to meet him. Her parents were a little taken aback, but nothing mattered to them more than their daughter's happiness and they agreed to meet him. He was from a reputable family and after all an artist.
Deb spoke to his parents too and the families decided to meet. Jataka's (hororscopes) were exchanged and the parents decided to consult astrologers about the match. Nondini's parents also believed in a God, who every second Saturday manifested himself in a human form and spoke to his devotees. Every big decision in Nondini's house from her grandparent's time had been taken only after consulting this God and he had always helped the family out and looked out for them. Their belief and trust in this God was unshakable. Nondini believed in him too. But she was completely sure that when her parents asked him about Deb, he was going to say yes and would agree to the proposal, so the thought of him objecting never once struck her.
But he did. He said no. Her parents said no to the proposal after that. Nondini was broken. She hadn't anticipated this situation and was torn between her devotion to God, her love for her parents and her love for Deb. Deb was not an atheist, but he also didn't believe in submitting oneself completely to God's will. So he was sure, the problem shouldn't really be a huge issue for Nondini and she should fight her parents and make them understand and assure them that Deb was going to keep her happy.
One night, after her mom had cleaned the kitchen and was in her bedroom preparing for bed, Nondini went into her father's study and sat by her father's side on the floor and laid her head on his lap. He caressed her hair and asked her in Bengali "what's the matter my love" and she told him that she loved Deb and wouldn't be happy with anyone but him and that they understood each other and completed each other. Her father sighed and said "You are the light of my eyes. Why do you feel that your mother and I would want to do anything to hurt you, you know what is binding us, you also know that we will never go against God's will. You are still young, you have so much of the world to see. We like Deb, we really do, but why think about what's not destined...You'll find the same compatibility with someone else" He kept patting her head as he spoke and Nondini still had her head on his lap. Tears flowed down her cheeks and wet her saree and all she wanted to do there was to close her eyes and sleep with her head on her father's lap forever. But she lifted her head and got up and kissed her father on his forehead and said goodnight and left for her room.
The next day, her father and her sat down and practiced Rabindra-sangeet. In one song, she found herself choked with tears, she got up and touched her father's fete to ask for forgiveness for leaving her practice incomplete and ran to the temple inside the house and sat down and cried in front of God.
That evening, she went to meet Deb. She told him that she couldn't choose him over her parents and over God and they could no longer meet or be together. They were on the bench by the Hoogly and the boatman sang a song about heartbreak as Deb watched Nondini get up and walk away, her silver bangles and anklets clinking, her plait swaying from side to side. She looked back once and tucked her stray curl behind her right ear, Deb saw her kohl-lined eyes fill up. She looked most beautiful then and he looked at her for the longest time, trying to capture that image of hers in his memory forever. Nondini had left her Veena on the bench, she never sang again. And Deb always stood by the curtains on the side in the theatre when his play was being performed. Hoping that someday, he will see the light from the stage light up his life with a face, even if for a second....he never did.
he purno tobo choronero kaache
jaha kichu shob, aache aache aache
naae naae bhoye, she shudhu aamaari
nishidino kaandi taae
nishidino kaandi taae
antarglani, shonshar bhaar
polok phelite kothaye ekakaar
jibonero maajhe swaroop tomar
raakhi baare jyodi paaye
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