Dhoop Ke Makaan Sa

"Barish hain khayalon mein 
Sab ghul jayega
Roshan rasta naya
Ek khul jayega
Beh jayega
Tinka tinka Kal ka silsila
chalo
Mil jayega
Aur ek haseen kafila
chalo,
Dhoop ke makan sa yeh
Hain safar dhalaan sa yeh
Mod meherbaan sa hain yeh"
~Prasoon Joshi
~Break Ke Baad

At the end of a day, year, or even a lifetime it all comes down to the amount of time you spend with your loved ones. There was a time when I was high on "spending own time". I'd sit with myself and book or a sketchbook for the whole evening. Today, I feel the need to spend time either with Dimple or my friends or even a phone call home fills up that empty space. And then when I look back at why and how I needed so much time for myself, I realise that its all a part of life's big irony. When you are swamped by people you want time alone, when you are alone, you want people next to you. Sometimes it's also just a phase, you want to spend the evening just with yourself and sometimes you'll go calling on each and every friend of yours in town. As you grow older you have other things to occupy you, your work takes priority, you have to take out a little time to pursue your hobbies, for the development of the self, etc etc. If you are not completing the incomplete presentation over the weekend, you are catching up on sleep or 100 other things. Little do you realise that while you are so extremely busy getting customers onboard you are leaving loads of people behind. Let's start with an example. In this age of "need and desire and greed" everyone wants to earn as much as possible, if getting into ISB or having 5 years of work-ex before an MBA is what is required, people will do it. I have heard and seen cases where the career often takes precedence over one's personal life. Sometimes it's too late when you decide to make the amends. Couples working like crazy throughout the day, getting home at 8 or 9, catching up on the day's events over a food ( mostly take-aways) and then to bed at 10/11 (if there isn't more work to finish) only to rise again at 7 and rush to work. Weekends will either be shopping for those household necessities or preparing for more work for the coming week. Have you seen such couples? I have. When I was younger, I was of the opinion that being independent and partners living a life that is mutually exclusive is good for their relationship and the individuals. But now, like the thousand views that I am changing, I change this view as well. It is important to be with each other, it is important to spend time with each other, it is important to go catch that crazy movie just for the heck of it, it is important to go for vacations together. All this is more important in life than working on a presentation to perfection. Would you rather be sitting with the one you love or in a big flat in one of Mumbai's high-rise sea-facing buildings all alone in Juhu? In life everything comes down to the choices you make. While our parents got it right, I think and Im afraid we are not. We are making the wrong choices, concentrating on the wrong things, in our speed to get to the top we forget the people who are walking beside us, and by the time we realise they are way back on the "path to success" it's too late to turn back and get them next to you. While I say all of this, I am not saying there is no family that is happy or every relationship is failing, but somewhere we still have a lot to learn from our parents. I dont think my kids (if I ever have any) will be as contented as I and my brother were when we were kids. There will be iPhone 20s coming and PS will be releasing a new version every year. Their wants and needs will be ever-growing like ours today. Contentment is what we had (maybe instead of money) in childhood, and contentment is exactly what we will all be searching for soon. A friend says that I am never happy with life, I always want more and I am always criticising, maybe I am. Those are alarm bells for me..hopefully I'll wake up before it all ends.

"Kitni unchi shaakh pe
khusiyon ke pal
Phir bhi khusboo tod li
Humne uchal
Haan Kanch ka saman the
Aur gir gaye hum
Jod kar khudko banane
Phir gaye hum
Door dariya ke kinare
Zindagi karti ishare
Aasmaan pe hai naye taare"