The Time I Met Black

I have always heard of an ‘unfair’ world. I have heard my Ma speak about it, I have read about it in books, articles, seen it unfold in movies. Always knew it existed but never encountered it myself. I have tried to follow what I always seen my Pa do. Speak the truth. Do what is right, irrespective of how tough it is or how easy the other path may seem. Do not do something with the anticipation that you will be rewarded for it. Always dream. And always try to make it happen. Never measure your life with how much money you have earned, but with how many friends you’ve made, the times you have laughed and been happy and the things you’ve done which made you realise your worth as a human being.
I follow everything. To the last word. I do what is right, not what is easy. I practice what my Ma-Pa preached and what i now preach. And I always wondered why everyone wouldn’t do the same. It all seemed pretty easy to me. I mean, how difficult is it to speak the truth or how tough is it to not be mislead by greed or what joy does one derive by achieving success the wrong way? Life seemed pretty ‘white’ to me. And I was puzzled by why people said it’s ‘grey’. You see I had never encountered the ‘black’ and hence didn’t know of its existence. I was indeed presented with it a lot of times. But it never really struck me hard. People spoke to me about the way I was, about how these ‘Ideals’ are just bookish, and that these are things that ‘Gandhi-Vandhi’ spoke of and hence belonged of the past, irrelevant in ‘today’s world’. It pains me to see that very few people truly understand Bapu. These so-called Ideals are even more important today. They aren’t something that i learnt in a book. They are not ‘principles’ for me, but a way of life. I have not known any other way. And Inshallah, never will.
Coming back to Black. I met him (I don’t want to refer to Black as her) recently.
And when I did, he stared at my face and laughed in that small room. And with him laughed all the others who used to jeer at me. At first I did not believe it. I tried not to accept reality. I felt tears sting in my eyes. I knew I shouldn’t let them out. That I couldn’t. When I walked out of that room, Life had taught me my first lesson. To acknowledge the existence of Black and how to fight him. I was shattered to say the least. I cried. And sobbed when I wrote my Pa a mail. I told him, how I had always done the right thing. And today was being pulled up for the same. While all those who had laughed at me, and done the wrong things all the way, were the ones at the very top. Very few people know, that I cried not for the ‘error’ or for the consequences. But that my heart ached for the unfairness of it all. Here I was with all my morals in place, all my ideals and beliefs right there, and yet I was in that situation. And then I asked myself a question- “ Would you have been much better having trampled what you truly believe in, with an Award (named after some random precious metals) in your hand? And then I knew why Life had taught me the lesson it did, and more importantly the way it did. I learnt it. Unwillingly. But I did nevertheless.
It may not have been a life-and-death kind of a situation. But it was milestone for me in my Life. I will always remember that there was a day when I met Black and he enticed me to jump into his bandwagon. But I deferred. I instead held the veins of my Pa’s teachings tighter and drove on. And I look back once in a while, when I am down. When I didn’t lose hope then, there is no reason why i should now.
The lessons continued. I asked Pa today, why do I find the wrong kind of people climbing up the ladder of success, I often see people bootlicking and sweet-talking and going up. And he said to me. “So have I. But I have also seen them getting stuck somewhere. You give it your best and let the rest be. Success will not evade you forever. It can not. You be faithful towards what you do. It’s not how far you go, but how you get there, that matters ”. And he kissed my forehead. And that put my aching heart to rest after 6 painful, full-of-doubt months. A bell rang somewhere, Bapu had said similar words something about the means being as important as the ends. The rod I take miht be tough, but in my heart I will always know that it’s the right one. I have seen my Pa and Ma live their lives like this and there is no reason why I can’t live mine the same way.
So whenever I am in doubt I do what my Shah said in a movie ‘Zindagi mein kucch banna ho ...kucch hasil karna ho...kucch jeetna ho...toh hamesha apne dil ki suno...aur agar dil se bhi koi jawaab na aaye..roh apni ankhein bandh karke apne maa aur baba ka naam lo,phir dekhna tum har manzil pa sakoge, har mushkil aasan ho jayegi, jeet tumhari hogi, sirf tumahri."
And so Black, I can’t say it was a pleasure meeting you, I’d rather have done without your acquaintance. I have never liked the middle path, to turn grey now and anyways, there’s just too much White in me. But thanks anyways.