Love Actually

I feel it in my fingers,

I feel it in my toes,

Love is all around me,

And so the feeling grows,

It’s written on the winds,

It’s everywhere I go,

So if you really love me

Come on and let it show.

So what is Love actually?

A feeling? A state of being?  Something indescribable?

 For me, it is a journey of highs and lows. It is a life surrounded with music. I can quite literally hear my Dil going ‘hmmm’. It is knowing that tu hai toh I’ll be alright. There is a song in every situation. And there is a situation in every song.  It is the comfort of spending hours together with a certain someone and still discovering new things about him every minute. It is the art of understanding unspoken emotions, unsaid feelings, of reading signs and de-coding them. It is predicting whether it will be a ‘green’ or a ‘blue’ or a ‘white’ day. It is the comfort you find in loneliness. It is the loneliness you feel in a crowd. It is about dreams and more dreams of them coming true. It is the thrill of a call/sms/letter/a smile/a hi. It is the sincerity of a prayer. It is the purity of a raindrop on a leaf. It is the relief of having found a shade on a hot summer day.  It is colorblind and yet colorful. It is Green when I see him with someone else. It is Black when I realize that ‘we’ can never be. It is Yellow when I have hope.

 It is the simple joy of just having him around. It is the anticipation when he is not around. It is the wait when each passing minute seems like an eternity. It is in the skip of my heartbeat when I see him. It is in the moment when I go weak-kneed when he glances at me. It is in the joyous scream inside of me when I see him after a long separation. It is in his eyes when they meet mine. It is in the safety when I slip my hands into his.  It is in his hug when I am down. It is the melody in his words. It is in the tiny fluttering hope of does he or does he not. It is in the ego of “he should be the one to say it first”.

It is the language I talk to my heart in when I am trying to reason with it. It is the language my heart whispers to me in when I am losing hope. It is the light in a Diwali diya. It is the fragrance in the air on Christmas Eve. It is the excitement of the celebrations on Eid. It is in the ringing of bells in a Tibetan Monastery.

It is the glisten of a tear, which holds in it broken promises, unfulfilled dreams, the jeer of the mind and the defeat of the heart. It is in the silence of a dying hope. It is in the expectations. It is in the fear and the strength.  It is in the inner glow. It is the Inner Glow.

It is in the slight buzz in my head, the spring in my step, the radiance in my smile, the spark in my eye, the music in my voice, the music in his voice. It is feeling free while belonging to someone. It is in the innumerous and never-ending conversations. It is in the hope of sweet togetherness. It is the calmness in anxiety. It is the symmetry in asymmetry. It is in the underlying clarity in the confusion. It is in the unknowing and the knowing. It is losing yourself to uncover a more beautiful you. It is the breath-taking view of a sunset. It is the joy of a peacock dancing in the rain. It is in the soar of a kite into the sky. It is in the whispers of the wind.

It is maybe all of these things and more.

If you didn't indentify with these silly musings, all I have to say is:

Hoshwalon ko khabar kya bekhudi kya cheez hain,

Ishq kijiye phir samajhiye zindagi kya cheez hain

 Love actually is all around.