Zendagi Migzara

A friend asked me this question when his relationship was not exactly the way he wanted it to be. And I answered, simply, anything, I would go as far as love requires me to go. I mean we all would right? I knew I would. It’s all up to you. To keep it alive and to let anything that makes it weaker pass , and move on. Always making it stronger. After all what’s love and life without a little ups and downs.And I still believe this. But there can always be a second case. A case where you know that there will be no two sides to the game. Where there is no hope to keep alive. What would you do then? I would have answered: There’s nothing called no hope. You see, I have lived my life with certain beliefs that I have. Certain beliefs that Shah helped me build. He said, in Mohabattein : “Maine us se mohabbat karne se pehle yeh sharth to nahi rakhi thi ki woh mujhse zyada jiyegi." Mohabbat mein shartein nahi hoti toh afsos bhi nahi hona chahiye. Toh kya hua ki woh aaj mere saath n...

How long does it take for like to turn to love. How long does it take for strangers to be best friends. How long does it take to make a mistake. How long does it take to know you are wrong and apologize. How long before you make the same mistake again. How long does it take for hard work to bear fruits. How long does it take for a tulip to bloom. How long before the moon waves goodbye and the sky welcomes the sun. How long before the wish you made on a shooting star/ red mail van/ fallen eye lash, comes true? How long before you realise that some wishes never come true. How long does it take for a father to escort his baby to the altar? How long should a hug be to take away all anxieties? How long does it take your heart to accept what your mind knows. How long before you realise that Life is not always sunny and bright? How long before you say, but I love the bright days, smiles, moments. memories that make it all worth? How long does it take for your eyes to say something to his. Ho...

Ten days of talking to me and making myself understand and telling myself what Scarlett O’Hara said to herself - “Tomorrow is another day.” Ten days of begging my friends to stay near me and randomly holding them close, not wanting to be alone and letting them go. Ten days of trying my best to feel something, anything, of trying to get out of this numbness and pretension that I know I have developed. Ten day s of swamping myself with work enough to keep my every waking hour occupied. Ten days to start trusting myself. Again. Ten days of getting over the blank staring when memories come rushing back. Ten days to start singing my songs. Ten days to start believing my Shah. Ten days and then I wont have tears in my heart every time I see you, because now I will see you differently. Ten days and Zendagi Migzara.

The song is from the movie P.S. I Love You. The book is beautiful and the movie adequately captures the simplicity and the beauty of the book. This song is something that keeps playing in the background, and is something that Gerry sings for Holly in that oh-so-damn-husky voice of his and is something that Holly sings when one of Gerry’s letters tells her to go and sing at a Karaoke bar. The song, like the movie, carries the message that they’ll love each other. Always. And forever. So for the hopeless romantic that I am, this post of mine will be this song. Love, you see, exists in the simple joys and sorrows, ups and downs, smiles and tears, fights and make-ups of life. For now all i have to say is, P.S. I’ll always …… I just want to see you when you are all alone I just want to catch you If I can I just want to be there when the morning light explodes On your face it radiates I can not escape I’ll love you till the end I just want to tell you Nothing ...

My second birthday away from home. I was excited, nervous and anxiously waiting see how it goes. June 2009 I get to know that I will be in Bombay on my b’day. As many people(obviously) know, for me Bombay = Shah. So, to be in the same city as Shah on my bday was B.I.G.. I mean really! I actually pinched myself to see if I was dreaming! July 2009 Started off the month in Delhi and came back after a nice long vacation. Unfortunately the Bombay trip was preponed (Yes that is Indian English) by a week and so I would not get to see Shah or Mannat on my b’day. Well actually I did not get to see it at all. My birthday week, was awesome. I was on a natural high. Like glowing happy. Aren’t we all?? On the eve the day, my guardian Angel (since we are both into ‘code names’ bigtime), a very dear friend and I went for a nice beautiful Dinner at this restaurant called N. It’s actually N Grill. But for us it was just N. Imagine going to a chic restaurant on the eve of your b’day and ...

“ Were all stars to disappear or die, I should learn to look at an empty sky And feel its total dark sublime, Though this might take me a little time.” ~The More Loving One  ~~  WH Auden I always knew the end was near. And I always tried to shoo it away. Because I always had a reason. A reason to carry on. A reason to hope. A reason to wait. A reason to reason with myself. And the reason was you. I knew things were not perfect for us. But I always thought that we could work it out in our own way. The gap between us, the years, the levels, could be bridged. Only if you would once tell me. Only if I could tell you. I knew what your fears were. And I certainly knew mine. But I always believed. And I always dreamed. And yet again the fate was the same. I knew you were afraid of us not being close, in distance. I also knew that you were afraid of the connection. I know your fear was the reason you kept asking me when I was leaving . Or were you asking me because y...

Even though I ought to love coffee, being from ‘the Land Of Coffee’ (Coorg), Chai has been and will always be favourite beverage. I don’t really remember how or when i started drinking Chai. But my earliest memories of it is getting up from my cozy bed in Srinagar, with a cup of tea on my bedside table. My brother and I used to wake up only when the cold November air carried to us the fragrance of tea. And only then would we unwillingly move ourselves out of bed in those beautiful cold, snowy and wintry days to get ready for school. And a lotta times we never opened our eyes but sat up in bed and held that tea cup in our hands so that it’s warmth could compensate for the letting go of the feathery China blanket. Aaaah those days. And that was where I was introduced to the heavenly Kahwaa!! And the even more heavenly almonds at the end of the cup. Scooping out those almonds with a Chinar leaf shaped spoon after the tea is done is pure ecstasy, now that’s Life! So t...