Glasses clanked and wine flowed,   lights dimmed and the music slowed.   As the night drew on,   my disinterest shone,   I was among a crowd.   & yet I was alone.     Holiday plans are discussed   Airline miles get told,   I belong here,   & yet I don't?     Who are these people   & what do they say,   I want to leave,   & yet I have to stay.     Is it me,   Or is it them?   I can't seem to keep up   & yet I pretend.     I know nothing   of the gossip they share,   I want to seem interested   Yet, I frankly don't care.     In such moments,   you'd be the first to know,   how much I'm struggling   how badly I want to go.     As I spin a parallel world,   I'm asked   'Are you ok?'   'Yes, of course' is my answer,    And yet, I'm not.